The Cast of Characters - Tealy and the Crew

-

 

The Cast of Characters

Tealy — The star of the show. A teal budgie with the temper of someone who just got a game-breaking lag spike for the fifth time. Loves gaming, tech, and snacks, and will absolutely lose his mind over all three at any given moment. Has a smart brother named Greeny, which probably doesn't help his ego.

Dird — Frighteningly smart, annoyingly good at gaming, and somehow finds time to read books on top of all that. Tealy's friend and rival, because apparently one wasn't enough.

Blara — Distant, rude, and deeply committed to snacks. She and Tealy aren't exactly besties, but their shared gaming addiction keeps her in the circle. Probably showing up uninvited when there are chips involved.

Beric — The group's resident tech wizard and retro gaming purist. Always on a 3DS or Wii U, and conveniently the guy you call when Tealy inevitably destroys another console. A creative soul doing the Lord's work.

Bayla — The one wholesome, non-chaotic member of the group, bless her heart. Kind, thoughtful, no gaming console, and apparently a glutton for punishment since she willingly hangs around this circus trying to keep the peace.

DumbDird — A Special Case Worthy of His Own Section

Tealy's best friend, and honestly the group's greatest achievement. A goofier, significantly less sharp version of Dird who calls Tealy "Tally" for absolutely no coherent reason. Obsessed with Animal Crossing. Founder of Dumb Snacks — a gummy brand with flavors that should be crimes against nature (Banana Nacho) but somehow sell like crazy. The man is a business genius who doesn't know it.

His vocabulary runs on Durr, deployed in every emotional register known to birdkind — excited "DURRR! I can't believe it!", somber "Durr… I'm sad…", and the perfectly mundane "Durr, how are you?" He occasionally swaps in Duh — but only when he's confidently doing something completely wrong, like "Duh, I towed your house!"

Then there are his cousins. SuperDumbDird, who is really dumb. And UltraDumbDird, who looked at a plate, decided it was "like from a burger," attempted to eat it, broke a tooth, and had to go to the dentist. The family tree is a remarkable document.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

40 Degrees - Tealy and the Crew

-
It had started subtly. Tealy had been on the couch at 9 PM, new blankets courtesy of Beric's place, the thermostat set to a reasonable 72 degrees, everything normal, everything fine, the week's events receding into the background where they belonged. He had glanced at the thermostat at 9:14 PM. He looked at it. He had set it to 72. He had definitely set it to 72. He had set it to 72 with the specific intentionality of someone who had recently slept under bathroom towels and was not going to let that happen again and had therefore ensured the temperature situation was handled. He got up. Set it back to 72. Sat down. Looked at it at 9:15 PM. He set it back to 72. Watched it. It held for a while. He watched it the way you watch something you don't trust, with the peripheral attention of a person who is doing something else but is also monitoring. He made it to 9:21 PM before he checked again. It had skipped one. Or he had missed 71 while watching his ph...
Read »

Towels - Tealy and the Crew

-
It had started at 4 AM. Not with anything dramatic. Not with a nightmare or a loud noise or an external event of any kind. Just Tealy, lying in bed, eyes closed, drifting toward sleep in the normal way, and then: Towels. He screamed. Not a long scream. A short, sharp scream, the kind that comes from a place of sudden irrational urgency, the kind that exits the body before the brain has had any say in the matter. He sat up. He looked around. His room was normal. His room was dark and quiet and contained nothing of note, certainly nothing towel-related, and after a moment he lay back down. He closed his eyes. Drifted. Towels. He screamed again. By 5:30 AM he had screamed six times. He was not scared of towels. He wanted to be clear about that, at least internally, at least for his own records. Towels were not a fear. Towels had never been a fear. He had used towels his entire life without incident and had no documented negative history with towels of any kind. And yet. Every...
Read »

Dumb...Huh? - Tealy and the Crew

-
Nobody really knew how DumbDird had acquired a game show set. Tealy hadn't asked. Nobody had asked. There was a point with DumbDird where asking how he obtained large physical objects was simply not worth the damage to your own mental health. The set looked like someone had described a game show to a golden retriever and then given that golden retriever a construction budget. There was a stage. There were colorful lights that flickered slightly too much. There was a large, aggressively cheerful sign that read "DUMB...HUH?" in letters that were not all the same size. And front and center, gleaming under the wobbly spotlights like a medieval siege weapon that had gotten lost on the way to a war, was the catapult. It was a real catapult. A full, functional, wooden catapult. Tealy stood at the entrance and looked at it for a long time. "I'm not playing," he said immediately. "I'm just watching." "DURR, OKAY TALLY!" DumbDird hollered...
Read »